I'm bothered, have been irritated by something for a few days now. It's not a big deal, I haven't lost any sleep over it, but felt blog-worthy (even though it won't change anything).
As I mentioned just before Christmas, I joined a new gym. Close-by, no contract, accessible 24/7, 365 days/year, great equipment, not overly busy. I got a call about 2 weeks ago from one of the trainers there inviting me to come in for an assessment, demo of the equipment, and a personal training session, which I booked for last Thursday. I fully knew that their intention was to sell personal training sessions, something I wasn't interested in, but figured I'd just go hear him out.
Typical small talk, then he asks me about my goals; like most people, lose some weight, shed some body fat, increase lean muscle, become more fit. So he has me step on the scale. Since Mr. G doesn't like a post full of numbers, I won't divulge the details, but long story short, the devil-scale had me almost 8 pounds heavier than the 2 scales I have at home, and 5% higher body fat! I normally weigh myself nekkid first thing in the morning -- this was in the evening (so I expected difference), after having a small dinner anticipating a workout, fully clothed -- can they calibrate these things to add weight, making you feel more shitty?! I can understand a pound or two difference, different scales, etc, but 8 pounds?!
His comment "ohh, the body fat is high for your age." WTF!!!!!
Yes, I know I'm in a gym, and you're trying to sell me your services, but there is no need to make me feel like such a cow. I have some weight to lose, and have some jiggle that I would love to firm up. I don't have a stick-thin model-type body, but I'm also not at the opposite end of that spectrum either. I have some curves that I'm ok with, and some muscle. I told him that I'll never be 110 pounds (nor do I want to be), his reply was "You can be whatever you want to be." To a point... maybe. I will never be 6 feet tall...
Anyway, did the workout with him and worked up a good sweat, so I'll at least give him credit for that. Then the discussion about training sessions. "...given that you are starting here, and want to get here, I'd recommend 15 sessions. I will guarantee.... blah blah blah." Got out of there quickly enough by telling him I'd think about it, which I knew that I wouldn't, and promptly left the gym.
Jay had his assessment on Tuesday; walked in, same trainer says to him that he's seen him workout, seems to know what he's doing, if he needs any help, to let him know, that was that -- done. Funny thing is that when we were off during the holidays, Jay and I worked out together everyday. And to be fair (but please don't ever tell him I told you guys this) he has some work to do to get reach his goal and ideal too.
I was pissed when Jay came home and told me this story. Do gyms and/or trainers really use negative body image, often a woman's weak spot, to sell their training so harshly? Similar to the pressure to fit society's standard? I have my "fat days", my "ugly days" but I have enough self-confidence to be happy in my own skin; I can't help but wonder about those that are perhaps weaker than me. I'm certain it's not all trainers, personalities have a lot to do with their "pitch" but I was aggravated. IMO, having a trainer, being active and healthy is a much better approach than fad-diets, diet pills, quick-fix schemes, but there's something to be said about tact, positivity, the way things are said, motivation, and not just picking on the girls.
Am I wrong or overreacting?
Ok. I'm done. Amazing how venting on a blog can help... Have a great night, and stay warm... seems that this brutally cold weather is affecting most! Stay warm!
38 comments:
I wouldn't obsess too much about the higher weight during the evening.
Not sure what is going on with the trainer and you two. I definately wouldn't want to use a trainer that started off making me feel bad about myself though, that's for sure.
Wow. Talk about double standard!
I don't know if all gyms do that type of thing to their customers. When I first set foot in a gym about 9 years ago, they never once said I was over weight or had a high body fat percentage, even though I was 30 pounds overweight and the body fat was a high percentage. The guy just talked about goal setting. I mean, I knew I was dealing with some weight, I didn't need anyone to remind me. It's kind of crummy how the guy was trying to play into your weaknesses. Did he take skin fold measurements or do hydrostatic body fat testing? Those body fat gauges on most scales are usually way off, and on the high side. Just so you have a better idea, weigh yourself on a few different scales, and not at the end of the day, just so you can get an average.
I'd be irritated, too. You're not wrong. It sounds like the guy needs to work on his people skills.
Definitely sounds like a bit of a double standard there. How annoying!
As far as the difference in numbers, I totally wouldn't worry about it. Clothes add a lot, eating and drinking throughout the day add a lot, and all of those throw off body fat percentages.
Glad you still got a good workout!
I'm thinking there's a slight double-standard there...but I tend to not pay attention to what people are saying anyway. :)
WOW....you should have looked him right in the eye and said you'd feel more comfortable with a trainer who took his own advice. Even if he was hot, he'd walk away wondering if all women saw him that way....HA!
The trainers at the gym i work in are very nice. They'd never make anyone feel uncomfortable. I think he was just being a jerk.
You're a sexy Momma!!!!!
That guy sounds like an idiot. The only women he is going to get to train with him are those that are too dumb to not see through his crap. You should find out if he runs and then beat his ass in a race.
Im sorry Im such a jerk. I was using my position has a trainer to see you more.
I have a friend who is a PT and says it industry standard to up the scale and body fat percentages. I think double standard is definately at play here. Good for you for not falling victim!
It does appear this particular trainer has a double standard. All that matters at this point is how you feel about yourself and I am so glad you are comfortable with yourself you didn't fall for his sales gimmick. I am certain he does use this method to get more women to pay for him to train them.
Keep up with the great work, I enjoy reading your blog and you have wonderful insight!
Melissa
That stinks! It is also reason 586 why I prefer to workout alone, not in a gym.
There is no way I'd want to workout with that guy!
Hey, Sistre, I rarely get serious, but this pisses me off. (It brings out the raging feminist in me.)
In fact, everyone uses negative body image scare tactics to try to sell to women. It's impossible to escape. Some of it is relatively subtle, some is overtly brazen, like this d*ckhead trainer's tactics.
I kid you about your numbers, but the fact is, I own a scale, but it is stuck in a closet and neither I nor Teh 'Bride ever use it because I don't gauge the health of my body by the numbers that appear on the scale. To her credit, Teh 'Bride doesn't either, despite the relentless tide of ads that scream at her that she should. I know when I need to cut back on the old food intake - when the jeans start getting a bit tight. I don't need to know what the number is, because then i'd key on getting the number down instead of getting the body in shape - and these two things are NOT the same.
I belonged to a gym for a while. I quit it for just such reasons as you describe, along with several others I won't bore you with.
You're not a cow. Shame on them for making you feel as if you were!
Teh 'Bride, after 17+ years of marriage, still has those girly-curves that I love! Why would anyone see them as anything other than the epitome of female pulchritude?
I now turn control of your Canadian blog back over to you by deporting it and telling it to make sure it has a VISA next time it tries to come into my country. Not a travel Visa. A Visa credit card, because we could really use some of your Canadian dollars.
Very annoying! And it is not only your gym that it happens at. Or only in the USA. I did a post on my previous blog about almost the exact same thing. My sister was told that her body fat was quite high 18% and she could benefit from gym sessions - the girl is positively skinny!!!!
The only reason she went in the first place was to show her friends that they say this to all the girls. The trainer had told her equally as thin friends that they were fat! These girls all fell under the 20% range, and are fit as they had just done an Ironman.
Luckily my sister has a good self image but her friends don't. It can be very dangerous.
Everyone diserves at LEAST one good rant/vent post a week, especially when its topical, hah.
I go to planet fitness where the walls are all mirrors. I think its all about a self image thing there, and while I don't think its a scam I think its to watch your form or something. Just do what you think is right, and consult the trainer if you have questions, dont let him sell you somethin you dont want!
I hate scales, thats why i only weigh myself ont he one i have, haha.
Sounds like another Gym-jerk with zero communication skills, i think there is a factory production line of them in China somewhere!
I don't think you're overreacting. A trainer should never say you can be any weight you want to be because that's not true. We all have healthy body weights and there is only so much you can change about that while being healthy. Sorry you had a bad experience. Studying for my personal training certification, I'll definitely keep this story in mind and be much more sensitive.
The number on the scale is about the WORST way to gauge fitness or health. This tool is probably the kind of guy who sits on the bench press hours on end...destroying his shoulder joint and not getting any functional strength out of his workout. Don't sweat it. Take Kim's advice...hilarious!
I really think it depends on the trainer and the ideals of the gym. I went to Gold's Gym forever because it was nice and close, but they are obviously very focused on weight lifting and couldn't entirely grasp why I would run so damn much. But they were nothing but supportive EVER.
Hi Melanie
Same thing happened to my wife. Totally unfair and made her decide to NEVER go back to the gym again. Fortunately, she finally decided that she couldn't let this experience keep her from working out if she wanted to.
I am quite sure that they use this as some sort of sales tactic. But it is ridiculous and mean spirited at best.
Best of luck and if they don't like you for you, f*** 'em.
I couldn't agree with you more!! I am an avid runner and a big anti-gym person as well. I have actually written in my running blog about the waste of money implicit in joining a gym. Check out my blog if you're interested! Keep up the good runs!!
www.RunnersWrite.com
Your post is EXACTLY why I will never go to a gym. What a jerk. You get all the love, encouragement and determination from your bloggy friends! Stick with us...you'll go much farther! ;-)
Dang. I wonder if my doctor's scale is rigged??????
UGH, it makes me mad to think that trainer may be doing the same thing to women with less self-confidence than you. Not to mention he didn't really help Jay at all, did he? I don't think you're overreacting at all and I HIGHLY DOUBT at your level of fitness you have high body fat for your age. What a jerk.
The trainer is an idiot.
I don't think gym trainers always know what they are talking about. Seriously. I have had a few along the years and totally am not impressed. Anyway, yeah, total double standard! Ugh! Don't mind him, just do your thang!
sounds like the guys was a jerk to me. I don't understand how he can expect to get any customers that way.
the guy was off target if he was trying to get your business.
Just sayin"
I have had that exact same experience at two different gyms. Even since, I always turn down the assessment. I just don't need to be beaten down like that.
Sounds like a double standard to me. Try not to let it bother you. You are strong and healthy and there is NOTHING wrong with your body!
for what it is worth, after my trainer appt today I really want to emphasise that *if* you chose to use a trainer for whatever reason (and there could be many different types of reasons) be sure that he/she is in synch with your personal goals and not their own goals and that they inspire you in some way. Otherwise, not a good match, not a good situation, not going to be a good experience.
my two cents. :-)
That would set me off...and it has. You did the right thing walking away. I agree the guy needs to go back and learn how to deal with people.
that is so wrong! i'm so glad you just walked away. why are most trainers such idiots?
hope you aren't beating yourself up about "being a cow" 'cause you certainly aren't!
Wow, I'd hope they wouldn't focus on the negative to get some money out of you. That definitely is a double standard!
Weight can fluctuate a lot depending on what time of day, how much water or salt you've had, what you're wearing, etc., just as you said.
Sounds like you've got your head screwed on right, so forget about that idiot!
Hmmmm. Nothing that could be proved but sounds suspicious on the part of the trainer.
I definitely don't think that you were overreacting! I was going to book a session at the gym, but am a little turned off. I hate when people try to sell me stuff!
This doesn't sound good. Maybe confront the trainer about it. See what he says. If he looks uncomfortable then you know that you are spot on? Don't know if I would have enough courage to do something like this, though. It's just a thought since it's obviously bothering you and I can fully understand how you feel! I would be pissed off, too.
Chuck the trainer.
Are there others to choose from?
Hey and thanks for all of your encouragement.
This sorta sounds like the car salesman male chauvenist pig dude. Personally, I wouldn't go back to him no matter how good he made you sweat on those damn machines!.
I had the same exact experience with my gym person. Sounds like a total double standard to me!!! Those guys just want to sell you sessions!!!
Sorry for the late comment. The negativity does go the other way sometimes. I had a PT tell me that to be more of a hit with the ladies I needed a lot of work. I laughed and asked him if he had heard anything I had said in the past hour.
'I'm a cyclist, my concern isn't how big my arms and chest are; it lies in stamina and cardio.'
He actually said 'Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to get some women turn thier heads when you walk by?'
Needless to say I never went back.
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