I've done a lot of things since I started running in 2007 that I never thought I would or could, however, they were all marred with self-doubt. Anyone who has followed my journey this far though also knows that it hasn't always been an easy road. With two bouts of stress fractures, and an earlier hip flexor injury, I'm familiar with being forced to start all over again.
Am I realistic? Overly cautious? Always thinking of the worst case scenario?
Jay gets frustrated with me with almost each conversation we have about running, triathlon or cycling that we have; saying he could never coach me because I'm not competitive enough, and sell myself short consistently.
**updated/added after Shirley's comment after realizing that this may be misleading... Jay is not a coach, nor would I want him to coach me for the reasons she mentioned. I'm forever bugging him to come for a swim or a run with me, and he doesn't. He often jokes that he'd coach me so that he can just tell me what to do and not do it himself. lol**
When we were at the triathlon last weekend, one of our team members asked if I had missed my race as the Sprint Triathletes had already left and I was still standing around in transition. They were surprised to learn that I was doing the Try-a-Tri since I had been doing the Sprint Tri distances during our swims and rides. Met with one of the Sprint Triathletes at the pool on Wednesday night, and she asked me if I had registered yet for the Sprint triathlon on Sept 19th that I had told her about and had been contemplating. I told her no, and started in my typical justification, listing off the reasons why I think I can't. She shook her head, and said to stick with her for the next set. I did, and after 17 laps, she stopped at the end of the lane, and said "There. You just swam 850m. Consistently. Now tell me why you can't do the 600m in the triathlon again?"
I'm also considering doing the cycling Tour de Greenbelt, distances are 25k, 50k or 100k. Being a tour and not a race, I'd love to do the 100k and knock something off my to-do/goal list. I've already emailed them asking if I can drop down in distance between registration and the day of the event if I need to.
Why do I do this to myself all the time? I've done a HM, a 30k race, 36k of a marathon, a Try-a-Tri, and inspired my son to do a kids' tri, what is it going to take for me to have an ounce of confidence in myself? I think I need an attitude adjustment.
23 comments:
IMO, I think it's best to not to be coached by someone you know already as a friend, spouse, etc. It's way too easy to take things personally when they push you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable and unworthy at times. But getting outside your comfort zone is how you make progress and the more times you do it, the easier it gets. For me, the key in having more confidence has been learning not to fear failure and large part of that has involved figuring out what failure really is in my mind.
Keep putting yourself out there, Mel!
I doubt that your really believe that you CAN'T do it. I think it's a matter of doing it was well as you'd like.
You've made some great progress since you started in 2007. I think the key question to ask is, are you happy you tried for the marathon, even though you didn't finish? There's so much you learned about yourself
in the entire process that you would have missed out on had you not tried. So, if you're happy looking back at the marathon, even if you do want redemption, then just go for the other stuff! Find something that looks like fun, tell yourself you can do it, and take joy in trying something really awesome. :) just my two cents.
I think this is part of why I love running, every day I do it amazes me. This is such a mental sport, all the individual sports you do are mental. You owe yourself the respect that you show other athletes..pat yourself on the back
You are definitely selling yourself short. You are incredibly strong and have accomplished so much. You are training smartly to avoid injury, so I bet you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
I think we all tend to sell ourselves short sometimes, and it often takes someone else to point it out. You've been through a lot, and I think it's natural to feel those self-doubt twinges. You ARE a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You rock! Look at everything you HAVE accomplished!
I can't say anything anyone else hasn't already said. It's so tough not to sell ourselves short, especially when going through a lot like you have. You are strong and you can rock whatever you do! You train smart but you can definitely do other distances (especially since you are already training at those levels!)
I don't have advice, being so new to this sport (running). But I do believe that you'll never regret trying, but you may regret not trying.
I do the same thing! I've run numerous halfs, but somewhere during training for each new one I get the "I can't do this" attitude. Why do we beat ourselves up? I think it's about pushing through the fear and doubt to accomplishment. Somehow the runs get logged and the race gets done. My body CAN do this. My mind - I need to take behind the shed and give it an attitude adjustment. LOL. You can DO THIS!!
I suffer the same self-doubt - I think we all do to some degree. The awesome thing about this community along with our friends/family is they can tell us when we're selling ourselves short.
So I tell you now - you're selling yourself short, Mel. You can do this!!
okay Missy, stop right now, turn around and look back on exactly where you've come from. The view is Pretty Amazing isn't it, who knew....now, that is the last time for you to ever look back, because it is all forward motion from here on in. The view looking forward looks even brighter...
You are not competing against anyone else, you are doing it because you want to. Right?
So, just as everyone else has said, don't sell yourself short, because you are doing FREEKING GREAT!!!
xoxoxox
No attitude adjustment needed Mel.
You just need to accept that you're not the same Mel you once were. There's now more history and achievements from the current Mel.
As for Jay, he's more competitive than you but's probably aware that you'd whip his arse if you both did the same event ;D
I often do the same thing- doubt myself, just remember you can do it. You have proven this to yourself many times over.
Good, now that you know you're doing it- STOP doing it! Do you want your son to miss out on things because he doesn't think he can? No! Don't set that example. He wants to be just like you. (And why wouldn't he? You rock! :o)
What's that saying - whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right.
I completely understand where you are coming from because you have suffered from some issues in the past. I'd be cautious too! Iimagine it would be really difficult to change your mindset. How do you know if you are being TOO cautious?
This is a good post and hopefully it helped you work through some things.
YOU CAN DO IT!
At least you are acknowledging the situation. You can fix it from here. A little self doubt is normal, but it should stop you from moving forward. I think you will and don't be so hard on yourself!
normally you can pick your distance on ride day at the greenbelt ride. i'm doing 60 miles on september in one of those touring rides as well. they are a blast! much more fun than a bike race, i think.
oh and you can totally cover the sprint distance. our version of try-a-tri down here is called saturday. put on your big girl bike pants and go sprint! hell, why not plan for an olympic distance next year. you have nothing to fear.
girl i know - it is so easy to doubt yourself and sell yourself short. you need to look back at what you have done in races and in training and realize YOU GOT THIS. you are capable of a lot and you need to give yourself a shot. even if you fail, so what - you gave your best and i'm sure had fun along the way!
Sometimes I confuse self doubt with the idea that training can be daunting. Maybe you're doing that too because we know, and we know YOU know, you CAN do it. You can and you HAVE!!!!!! Sometimes the thought of the massive training and nutrition plans can take over your mind! You get tired just tinking about it all!!!
You do need an attitude adjustment, because you CAN do it! You are awesome!
You've got a knack for the cycling Mel...you've heard it from your teammates several times right?
Don't sell yourself short. When I decided to do my first half marathon, I was doubting myself the whole time I trained...to include, thinking of backing down to a 10K. I really felt I was getting ahead of myself and over-estimating my ability.
IN reality, it's just as Lisa Slow-and-Steady says....I was more afraid of not doing it WELL enough for ME. NOt only do we want to succeed, we want to OVERSUCCEED. I totally relate to this!
Remove the emotion...look at the facts...what you have done so far, how hard you think you can push without injuring yourself and what you can reasonably be prepared for by the tour date. Do you want it to be an 'easy' ride, a first time get the feel for a 'tour' experience? OR are you looking to stretch yourself a bit?
Once you understand the purpose of the ride, you will know what to do!
You can do anything you put your mind to Mel, I know you can!
I really can't add much that hasn't already been said in previous comments so I'll leave it as this..You are an awesome athlete!
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