who's stronger right now...?

I think I've done things right. Followed the 10% rule, stretched after each run, slowed my pace to not increase mileage and speed at the same time, taking extra calcium and vitamin D along with regular vitamins, and ugh, my calf is still killing me.  

Will try not to turn this into a pity-party post, I promise, but I need to get this out. Sunday's run was only 12.5k, took 2 full days off and went out for a short run tonight, and it was tough. Legs felt like logs, shins burning, left calf tight with a few sharp pains.  My biggest fear... it's the same leg as the stress fractures.  Is it my body warning me, is it taper madness playing games with me? I'm not feeling very confident right now. I have pressed all along the tibia, can't find a single sore spot... a tell-tale sign which I did have before. It feels more muscular than bone, more in the back of the leg; in the calf.  It's a tight feeling, and no stretch I do, and I've been doing a lot, seems to release it.  Been rolling, icing, stretching, anything I can think of, but my thoughts turn to fear given my previous injuries.

I can walk perfectly fine, walking up and down the stairs feels normal, can stand on either leg, jump up and down, no pain, no limping, nothing.  Even while running, it's just there, tight, but there.  I'm just so scared to make things worse.

Tonight I ran in a bit of a different area while Terron was in karate.  This may have been the first time I seriously considered meat-punching someone.  This dude comes out onto the sidewalk facing me... and starts dodging side to side as I'm running towards him, even though I was all the way over to the right.  I gave a little half-smile, but as I got closer, he said, "Oh ya.... nothing better than a girl with t!ts running towards me."  It took everything for me not to turn around... and according to this, he was definitely in the red zone. 

Then, back at the karate club, I started stretching out outside, starting with the calf.  Arms against a wall, back leg out straight.  An elderly gentleman is walking past me using a cane.  He says "who's stronger right now, you or the wall"  I almost cried. I replied telling him that at this moment the wall was, but should we happen to cross paths in 2 weeks, I hope to tell him that I knocked down that wall. Feels like even though I'm not in the actual marathon yet, the proverbial "wall" is already rearing it's ugly head, putting me to an ultimate challenge.

Are calf issues the newest pandemic, perhaps contagious through the running blogosphere! Seriously, I've been reading of so many others lately with calf and other lower leg aches, pains, etc.  Can we get a vaccine for this shiz?

My sports doc is not available until the day after my marathon, which I've already booked; his wife is having a baby in the next few days, so I can't even be mad. lol I went for an H2O massage this evening, and will be calling tomorrow to see if someone else is available in the clinic in the meantime to see if I can get this leg loosened up.

Trying to stay positive, and I can't even lie and tell you it's working. I'm so discouraged. sigh.

me me me

As if you don't already know more about me than you care to... here's a little more.  

Was tagged by Ashley a few weeks ago, and I just plain forgot! Sorry!

The rules are:

1. Fill it out
2. Change one question with one of your own
3. Add an additional question
4. Send it to 3 people.

1. What are your current obsessions? Getting through my first marathon, in only 12 sleeps!

2. Which item from your closet are you wearing most often? My Aeropostale 3/4 length sweat pants and sweatshirt.  I am lucky to be able to work at home, so I live for comfort :)

3. Last thing you bought for myself? New saddle for my bike, and a plane ticket to San Francisco!

4. What’s for dinner? Tonight will be grilled salmon, wild rice and roasted peppers. Yum.

5. Say something to the person who tagged you: Ashley's blog is so full of energy, she's one blogger that I'd love to meet in person one day, I'm sure she'd be a fun person to hang out with!

6. What is one item you could not live without? internet... whether from my mac or iPhone, i love staying connected. Made new friends through the blogosphere, some who I've met, another that I'll be meeting in a few weeks, and others that I sadly won't, but would love to.  But it's important to me also to stay connected to old friends as well, those that I thought I'd lost, but through the powers of facebook have found.

7. Vacation spots you must visit before you die? Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Europe... anywhere.

8. Three things to do before you die: Since the marathon is less than 2 weeks away, please drag me across the line, even if I'm close to death, so that I can cross it off this list!  Travel with Terron... see new parts of this world together; things I never did as a child. Be more comfortable in my own skin.

9. What are you reading right now? not much right now actually, but been flipping through 26.2 Marathon Stories.

10. (question that i changed) Biggest Pet-Peeve.  Being late.  I'd rather show up 10 minutes or more early, than be rushing and show up somewhere late. I hate making people wait.

11. What’s your guilty pleasure? French fries.  Can't swear them off... just trying to eat them less often.

12. What’s your favorite smell? Vanilla

13.If cost wasn't an issue and you could run any race in the world what would it be? Anywhere in Europe, Caribbean, Australia or New Zealand.  Love to travel, never did much as a child, so I jump at any opportunity I get.

14. Do you have a goal that you are trying accomplish before 2009 is over? Yep, hoping I'll be accomplished in 12 sleeps! 

15. Describe one of your happiest moments.  There are many, but some of the most memorable is the day I realized that Terron wasn't someone else's child that I was babysitting, he was mine, and here to stay.  I also remember the doctors removing the bandage from my head 2 days post-surgery.  I had hair!  And lots of it!  They had only shaved a C-shaped strip, wide enough for the incision and stapes.  This section was easily covered by the rest of my hair... so I was extremely happy.

16. What was your best Halloween costume? Never been much of a Halloween person... I like seeing what the kids dress up as, and can't remember any of my childhood costumes. boring, i know.

17. What do you have an addiction to? Nutella

18. (My own question) If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be? I'd have not taken health and life in general for granted. I wouldn't wait for tomorrow what I can do today.  Life is too short, you never know when you'll no longer be able to do the littlest of things. (ie. I was 22, a mother, and couldn't take a bath on my own... had to have someone there in case I had a seizure and drowned).

19. What is one totally irrational fear you have? Needles.  Hate them, but I'm a grown up, I should be able to handle it a lot better.

20. Do you have a favorite training tip? Listen to your body. Failing to do so will result in a lot more downtime, missing races, etc.

21. What's your most embarrassing moment?  I get embarrassed very easily, so I wouldn't think this to be a difficult question, but one that comes to mind was last summer. Walked into the bike shop to get my bike serviced, with my walking boot.  Fresh stress fractures, so I wasn't able to ride just yet, may as well get it in. Guy looks at me, points to the boot and says, "did that happen on this?" pointing to the bike?  I told him no... but the stitches that were hidden by the air cast were. I felt like such a dork.

Then, tagged again by Carlee for the Crazy 8's that is also invading the blogosphere.

8 things to which I'm looking forward

• my first marathon
  
• walking after said marathon
• summer evenings
• San Francisco trip in October
• Caribbean Cruise in February
• meeting a friend/blogger in early July... from a far away place!
• getting the leaky faucet/broken pipe fixed this afternoon so the drip drip drip will finally stop!!
• longer bike rides, outside

8 things I did yesterday

• drove Terron to school early for a basketball tournament, he had been walking to school, and when we moved started taking the bus, so it's been a while since i've had to drive him myself
• listened to other trainers sessions and taught
• walked to the grocery store -- love that it's my new neighbor
• rested, no running, no biking
• caught up on blogs
• iced my leg... lots
• stretched a bit too
• spoke to one of my closest, and very pregnant friend.

8 things I would like to do

• learn how to maintain my bike, change a tire, cleaning etc.
• travel, whenever wherever
• figure out a way to confront someone who I know is lying a lot, without someone else getting hurt
• find and get comfortable cycling in a group
• Bed & Breakfast road trip.... with my bike. Was going to do that this summer, but too many things popped up, so it will happen, just later.
• be the best mother I can be to Terron, always
• try a tri
• become more fit ie. swim longer without feeling like I'm going to puke, run more efficiently/faster

8 shows I watch

• Grey's Anatomy
• The Big Bang Theory
• Two and a Half Men
• Ellen
• The Biggest Loser
• Intervention
• How I Met Your Mother
• Flashpoint (Canadian series, funny to see familiar buildings, street names, etc)

I've seen almost everyone getting tagged already since I'm pretty late to the game, so i'll be boring and just say that if you haven't been already, consider yourself tagged :)

taking you all with me...

...no, not to San Francisco, although, how much fun would that be!!! ... but to my marathon.

Terron was absolutely thrilled to read all the comments he received on his post. It all started because of you all!  You're all absolutely wonderful, always have words of encouragement and make me feel like I can do anything.  I decided to take all of your comments and print them making a motivation band rather that a pace band -- especially since time is irrelevant. I want to finish, and I want to enjoy the moment.  If that happens; then mission accomplished. So all of you, your words, your positivity, your spirit will be with me, and during the times when I need to dig deep, which I'm sure there will be many, your encouragement will get me through this. 

He saw it on my desk, and started reading the comments. He then said he'd like to be able to tell me how proud he was of me on my blog, so I called his bluff :)  I really am blessed to have him in my life.

****************

Sunday's run started out dry, with the threat of rain.  Being that this is my last longish run before the marathon, and with the tightness I've been experiencing in my calf, I decided to just see what happens. I've been icing, stretching, rolling, but the tightness remains. I've gotten the important runs in, not going to push it too much so close to the race -- it is what it is. 

Since this is my left leg, I'm also hyper-sensitive to any aches, pains, tenderness, as this is the same leg with the 2 or more stress fractures I had in last summer; even though it's nowhere near the same place.  

Stuck with another girl, and my easy pace matched hers perfectly.  We pushed each other to run up the hills, which seemed to come one after another.

I think my ipod is possessed or a real a-hole.  You'll remember my 30k race was a rather rainy day -- start of the race it was a light drizzle, around the 4k mark, the sky just opened up.  The song playing on my ipod at the time? Steal My Sunshine by Len. Sunday's run started dry, light drizzle at about the 8k mark, then, just as Umbrella by Rihanna started playing, so too did the downpour. Couldn't help but laugh aloud as I listened to the lyrics, and told the girl I was running with.  Without realizing, we picked up the pace a little, and noticed a few minutes later that we had climbed another rather steep hill... guess the rain was a good distraction!  Wonder which song will play for the next rainy run!

Today, the calf is feeling pretty good, not feeling like it's going to give out or that awkward first step. Knock on wood. Icing it now as I'm blogging...

Next weekend will be a fun 10k race downtown; during which I will have fun, not push the pace at all, and enjoy having another race shirt and medal. :)  Congrats to all those that raced this weekend!

guest post...

I am so proud of my mom because she has fought seizures, brain surgery, she quit smoking and has become a runner. Now she looks a lot happier and enjoys running with her pals. The cool thing is that she is going to run a marathon on mothers day. she is also going to run a half marathon in san fran in 176 days and yes she is counting down!!!!! my motto is don't give up keep trying.

i love you mom/Melanie.

love Terron

called into action

"you want me to what? Haven't I done enough?" say my legs.

"why, yes, you really have, but let's rediscover some of the muscles that have taken a break and make them work -- it'll give some of you a break.  Sound good?  Great"

Picked up my road bike yesterday from getting some maintenance done. I also decided to change the seat from the bulky padded women's seat that came standard with the bike. While I had done a proper bike fitting last fall, I still found the seat to be uncomfortable, finding myself rolling left to right when extending my leg.  Not a lot, but enough to be annoying.

Got my ass sit bones measured (don't worry, no one touched my bum -- just had to sit on a board, which left a nice multi-colored imprint; the color determines the size of seat I'd need). **I'm already regretting writing this...lol.**   

With that information, I found what I was looking for; also a women's designed seat, but sleeker -- not quite as much of a 'comfort seat'. It's per-ty on my bike :)  Picked up the bike yesterday, and have been itching to ride.

Once dinner was done, I headed out for a quick 15k ride this evening before the sun set.  It felt so great to be back out, some speed again.  Muscles burned that haven't been used in a while... it was a great feeling. 

I'm looking forward to doing some longer rides this summer, and had planned a B&B cycling trip in Quebec this summer, but need to put that on hold. With moving, and my unexpected trip to California, and another major trip planned for February, and vacation timing, it's not going to happen this year. I'm bummed, but mark my words, it will happen... just a bit later.

Yesterday being Earth Day, I thought this was pretty interesting.  My next race is Sporting Life 10k, on May 3rd.  It's a fantastic race, straight down the heart of downtown Toronto, lots of entertainment along the route, and fairly downhill. I will be taking this one super easy, as it is the week before the marathon -- thankfully I'm only out there to have fun anyway :).  

Got an race newsletter today via email, which showed the following:

New 'Single-Use' Timing Chips

In 2008, we had 8600 finishers in this event at a peak rate of 300 finishers/minute. This led to 30-minute waits in the finish chute and dangerous levels of crowding, especially for those that required medical attention in the finish area (which is where 90% of medical issues occur on race morning). With 13,000 participants expected to take part in this year's event, we had no choice but to move to single use chips. The single use chips are recyclable and bins will be placed at the end of the finishing chute for those that don't choose to keep them. Also, by using single use chips we have eliminated the need for 50 volunteers at the finish line as well as the 30+ litres of diesel fuel required to transport them to/from by bus (not to mention the gas required to get students to/from the designated pickup area). Also, you may remember that the reusable chips were fastened to your shoe with cable ties that were cut off and disposed of. These new chips do not need a cable tie to be fastened to your shoe. Furthermore, we've cut the number of paper items in our race kits in half which will save nearly an entire cube truck of waste. This, in combination with the above items, more than offsets the 20 shoeboxes worth of recyclable chips needed to ensure a safe finish line for those involved. Hope the above demonstrates that we put a lot of thought into the impact of Canada Running Series events on the environment.

Well done, I love it! Not only for the impact on the environment, but I have a scrapbook where I keep all my race bibs etc, something else that I can now add! Is this common for other races out there?  I got to keep the timing chip from the 30k race as well because it was a commemorative chip, but think this will become the new trend?

another reminder...

Are you getting a bunch of emails about remembering your mom? Gift ideas for your mother? Perhaps a reminder that Mother's Day is around the corner.

Gasp!  That means that my marathon is around that very same corner, May 10th! Each email, tv commercial, store sign, or advertisement I see makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter a bit more.

I think I'm happy I only decided to do this a few weeks ago, while the endorphins were still flowing freely in my veins after the 30k.  I think if I'd have been training for this all along, I'd be driving myself crazy with marathon thoughts and madness. Gah!

But I'm excited, it's a good feeling.  A huge thank you to all of you for your comments on yesterday's post. I eat bananas regularly, but will try also have one closer to a run.  I will also try more of a gatorade type of drink for my long run rather than that nutrilite, will find S-caps, or raid Burger King for salt packages... lol, and see how that works.   ;)

I had no chance to run today; busy work day, son's basketball tournament, race over to the bike shop to pick up my bike from being serviced and getting a new saddle (yippie!), then life... everything else that somehow manages to steal my time.  It's ok, giving my calf an extra day of rest is probably not a bad idea, I'll just mix up the week a bit.

Hope you're all having a fantastic week!

just out of curiosity...

In my last post, I mentioned the cramp I had in my calf during my 19 mile (I love saying that!) run.  I did an ice bath, stretched, stretched again, and yesterday was a complete rest day. Calf was feeling back to normal.

Today, headed out for a short 6k run, calf cramp came back, much quicker this time.  Slowed to a walk a few times, but near the end of the run, my legs had finally loosened up some. Stretched as usual after my run, used The Stick, and will do some yoga and foam rolling tonight.

Stuart suggested S-Caps via twitter today, and it got me thinking, and reminded me of a conversation I overheard....  

my son and Jay's daughter were each having a soft drink last week... and as kids do, compare everything. "How many calories in your drink, mine has..." "How much sodium?"  ... "Oh ya, well mine has...."

I used to drink a lot of soft drinks, particularly diet Coke, more than 1-2/day. But one of the many ways that running has changed me, I actually enjoy and drink a lot of water now! Having a soft drink is rare these days, but I still need my coffee.

Moving into this new place at the beginning of April has also seriously changed my eating. Put it this way (so that I can make a very long story extremely short), I was 10 months with no kitchen! That means a lot of convenience food, more eating out than I'd like to remember, and probably not the best food choices (ie, higher in fat, higher in sodium, etc).  I've since been craving green food, salads -- just real food.

So, with having made these positive changes in my diet, am I perhaps low in sodium, maybe causing the cramping?  Sodium, as in regular salt, as well as potassium is what I'm losing when sweating right?  (If this sounds dumb, my excuse is and always will be that I've had my right temporal lobe removed... it's quite possible that the doctor also removed common sense and the answers to sometimes dumb questions...)  :)

Spring has also finally sprung, and as usually happens in both spring and fall, I tend to overdress. I have such a hard time figuring out what to wear based on weather. As a result, I'm often to hot, resulting in more sweating.  While I've not yet taken in any additional supplements, I've also been finding my face caked with a lot of salt post runs, extremely gritty, so perhaps I'm just losing more than what I'm taking in. Sorta the opposite of what RoadWarrior posted about here on Sunday -- white as a ghost, but he has been taking the additional electrolytes. 

Maybe I just need more chips like TFH's hubby?   ;P

As for running nutrition, I had 4 gels during my 19 miles, (3 Hammer, 1 Gu), taken about every 45min-60min.  My fuel belt holds 5 of the little bottles, 1 which was plain water, and the other 4 had 1 tube of Simply Nutrilite Tropical Sport diluted in water to fill the remaining bottles. One tube contain only 10 calories, 270mg of sodium, 80mg Potassium and 2g Carbohydrate.  By the time I finished the run, I had gone through all bottles, but never felt like I needed to ration it out; I had plenty of places to stop and refill if needed.

Any thoughts on what I should be doing differently, and how I can get rid of these cramps? The marathon is getting much closer... not much time left!  Always appreciate your thoughts :)

three weeks

hmm, a lot can happen in three weeks.  Think about it. You could... 

• fall in love or regret that you did
• meet a new friend
• lose a loved one
• win a lottery
• find out you're pregnant
• find a new job
• I had brain surgery, recovered, and returned to work in a little over 2 weeks
• take a vacation
• try something for the first time
• buy a house or car
• learn something new
• break an old or bad habit
• you name it, the list could be endless...

But at the end of these next 3 weeks, will I be able to call myself a marathoner?  If I can, wonder what it will mean to me?

My planned run this morning was 32k/20 miles.  It wasn't pretty, people.  

I woke up to some stomach issues, not my alarm clock. Ugh.  Wasn't sure I'd leave the house.  Once running, the sun was shining but a steady wind, which seemed to change direction whenever I turned.  Rolling hills were good, but tired me out a bit. Everything was fine until mile 16/~26k.  My calf started tightening up, and sending a shooting pain into the bottom of my foot. It was the weirdest thing.  Felt like my leg was going to give out a few times. Walked about a mile to work out the cramp, seemed ok, but I pretty much jog/walked the remaining 3 miles.  By the time my car was in sight, I had hit 19 miles, 1 mile short of my planned distance.  Seeing my car made me "mentally turn off" and the physical part of me certainly wasn't going to be doing any convincing, so I headed off to stretch and cool down before joining the group for coffee/treats.

A few things happened during this run. 

• First, 19 miles is a l-o-o-n-g way.  Never thought I'd ever be doing that distance, other than while driving my car.
• At mile 16, when I had that cramp, I finally embraced and accepted the fact that there would/should be some amount of pain.  During my 30k race a few weeks ago, and then last weekend's 29.4k run, they felt good. I felt good.  
• But regardless of how I feel, 30k runs are not "easy", and are not meant to be. It's bound to happen, there will be some element of pain.  This is marathon training!  
• I've always respected the distance of a marathon; that feeling only escalated today.
  
• Maybe the "bad run" is now out of the way? (I hope!)
• Not once did I think of throwing in the towel, or giving up. I like this new me a lot better than the old me, cuz I know the old me wouldn't have continued
• I've heard the statement before that the last 10k of a marathon is mental.  Is it?

Got home, hot shower first, then an ice bath. Leg feels fine now, just normal stiffness.  Wondering if perhaps it was electrolytes -- I hadn't brought a tab thingy with me today, which really helped during my race. I also don't think I hydrated enough yesterday compared to what I normally drink. I was on the go for the better part of yesterday, and tried to make up for my lack of water last night, but not sure it was enough.

House in SF is booked, and so are my flights! I'm so excited! It's 2.6 miles from the start line of the race, and 2.5 miles from the finish. We're smack dab in the middle :) Here's a preview of where we'll be, in case you need to find me lol.

friday morning funny

Not running related, but if you need a laugh, check out this video.  Unfortunately YouTube has embedding disabled, so I can't include it in my post... too funny not so share.  Have a great weekend!

conflicting goals

not sure where i'm at lately... maybe it's just a funk, hopefully it won't last long.

Started heart rate training a few months ago; I've learned a lot, and for the most part, it's been going well.  Looking back, I know that my pace has slowed, but I'm ok with that. Most of you are a lot faster than me, and are doing some serious hard-core training to get even faster. I admire you, but not sure my body was built for speed. What gives me comfort is that I'm finally on a streak of being injury-free *knock on wood* (and if you all could knock on some wood for me as well, hopefully that'll break any jinx by me making the above statement, it would be greatly appreciated). There was no better feeling for me going into my 30k race without some nagging pain or injury, and being able to walk from the finish line with tears of pride rather than pain (like I did after my first HM).

Since moving, I feel like I'm in a million different places. I'm happy to no longer be anxious all the time; walking on eggshells. I'm sad about the situation which led me to finally feel like I'm "home". 

Confused? 

Don't worry, it's a long story... and not one that I'm going to fill my running blog with -- running is my therapy, thankfully I've found it. 

I've been sleeping better, yet not as much thanks to the annoying neighbors that noisily come home at 1am, and their dog Duke which needs to come outside to pee at that time.  I know it's name because the owners are constantly yelling at it... yes, at 1am. Grrr.

My new running area provides me with some added inclines to otherwise flatter routes that I had before.  Not major hills, but enough to get the heart rate going, and quite a few of them, regardless of which direction I take.  This is where I'm struggling with the heart rate training. 

Hills have always been my arch-rival, my nemesis. My ex-smoker lungs cringed at the sight of each upcoming hill, but now, suddenly, knowing that I'm going to San Francisco in 6 months to run the Nike Women's Half, I've embraced hills and the benefit of getting stronger.  

Running the hills, though, also means a higher heart rate.  When I started with the heart rate training, I'd slow to a walk on most hills to keep it under control or in my zone 2. Yes, it was like giving in to something that I didn't enjoy, taking the easy way out, but fit in with my goal at the time.  But as I've mentioned, with San Fran coming up, I want to physically and mentally prepare for hills.  I no longer want to walk the hills, I want to bound up them! I want to feel strong. I don't want to give up on charging up the hill even before I reach the incline. I no longer want to feel intimidated.

So I'm at a point of heart rate vs. hills.  

I don't want to give up on the heart rate training, the theory behind it makes sense to me, I've gotten a lot of great feedback from other runners out there that swear by it, and it's keeping me from doing more than what my body can handle (especially speed-wise). So far so good, no injuries. But with the addition of running hills, and the time it takes to recover from the hill, (getting back into a zone 2), I'm likely not doing this correctly anymore.  I'm spending less time in zone 2, more time in zone 3, which I was recommended to try to stay away from more often. My perceived effort on the flat parts seem easy, (even though I find myself pushing that a bit lately too), and hills are hard only because I'm breathing heavier (as opposed to legs burning, etc.)

My goals just seem to be conflicted.  I suppose I could run up the hills, and once I reach the top, walk to recover to get back into zone 2 faster, then focus even more on staying in zone 2.  Any other thoughts? Recommendations?

Speaking of San Francisco, met up with the group last night, looks like it'll be 10 women!  :) We've found a few houses to rent -- put down the deposit on one, and inquired about another one closer to the race's finish line, we'll make a decision by friday. Vacation time is booked, extending our stay to a week :)

Good luck and safe travels to Patricia, Bill, Arcane, FrayedLaces, Steve, (if I've missed someone, please accept my apologies), and any others out there running Boston!!  Looking forward to all the race reports! Marlene, go get your PR for Boston's 5k!