it only took 4.5 months

while i can't help but giggle as i post this, it's really not all that funny.

For those of you who are new to my blog, I attempted my first marathon, on Mother's Day, in May. You can read about that adventure here. The day after, still unable to bear any weight on my left leg, I went to my chiro, who told me to go back to my Sports MD to get a referral for another bone scan or MRI, who I saw within the same week. He faxed the MRI requisition immediately, I was there.

Guess what I'm doing later today! I'm getting the MRI done. Finally. Yes, just now. Today. Welcome to our health care system. Phew! Thankfully it's wasn't something urgent eh?

Thankfully you don't have to read this thinking WTF did she do to herself now? LOL

When asked if I was going to even bother going for the MRI after weeks had passed, and I was slowly getting back to running, I jokingly said that of course I'd keep the appointment! With my history of injuries, at least I'm better prepared for whatever may happen between then and now!

Sigh.

the long story..

Thank you for all the wonderful comments about Terron's tri, he was so thrilled to read all the comments; you've all brightened his day! He's already planning his next triathlon, and has been talking about being able to do a tri 'with' me when he's 16! I love it!!

So, my banner pretty much gives you a summary. The short story, the what and why. What started my journey, what drives this blog and my posts, and why I've continued. I've celebrated two significant anniversaries this month here and here, but the full story can be read on Runner Dude's blog here, where he featured my story today. :)

While you're there, please share your stories about how "running has changed your life". It's been amazing to read all the amazing people out there, I've been inspired by all of their stories! He's doing another round, taking your submissions until October 17th! Go on, and inspire us -- even more than you already do! :)

Another triathlete is born! His take. My Take.

Terron's take

3,2,1 and we're off swimming 4 lengths of the pool. 1......2...3....and.....4. We're off running for our bikes. With the wind in my face i'm biking as fast as i can 1 loop,2 loops, 3 loops and my final loop, and i'm off running.After 3 loops i ran through the finish with my arms in the air. My friends and family cheered me on the whole time. I'm already looking forward to my next one next year.

The Proud Mommy's take

Hmmm, he talks a lot more than he writes... ah well. LOL

I wish I had known about triathlon and events like this when I was a child. 500 kids under the age of 16. Gotta give it to the race organizers of Tri Kids, they did an amazing job! The only thing that was a little disappointing was that Terron was in wave 40, which had a start time of 1:13pm. Instructions read that his transition had to be setup by 11am, and with the race about an hour away with the potential for bad traffic at the best of times (and my incessant need to arrive EARLY to everything cuz I hate being late or rushed), we had lots of time to kill. Is it weird that I woke up before the alarm clock, no longer able to sleep even though it wasn't even me that was racing? I was so looking forward to this day. Having become a triathlete myself less than a month ago, to think 'like mother, like son' felt awesome.

Luckily we were standing close to the swim start entrance to the school, because with about 30 minutes before his anticipated race time, his wave was being called to line up, and most of his cheering section had yet to arrive -- they were AHEAD of schedule! His uncle and grandmother ended up showing up just as he picked up his timing chip and sat on the bench to watch the 39th wave swim.

Some very strong 10-11 year old swimmers! WOW! Terron did his 4 lengths, hopped out of the pool, and headed out to transition.

He dried off quickly, put on the race shirt we made together, helmet on, bike unracked...

Yes, the following is a blurry pic... lemme explain. Notice he's still in transition! Major oopsie, he should have run with his bike out of transition to the mount line, which I went over with him a few times prior to the race, but understandably with it being his first race and with the excitement, easy to forget. So it was blurry cuz I was shouting at him to jump off the bike :)

By this point, most of those that had planned to watch him had arrived, a little bummed to have missed the swim portion, but Terron's face brightened with a smile with each pass of his loops to us screaming his name!

6k on the bike done, back in transition...

And finally the run! It was funny to hear some of Terron's cousins comment about the exercise they were getting going from spot to spot to watch him! The event was held at a large highschool, the bike portion on campus roads, the run on the track behind the school. Perfect venue.

Jay even did a lap with him as he started to slow a bit... awwwww.

His uncle (Terron's dad's brother) ran with him to the finish line... My son, the triathlete :)

He TRI-ed and made us all VERY proud! Way to go Terron! I love you!

11 years in the making

I want to be sad because the years have gone by far too fast, but I'm extremely proud of the young man he's becoming. Having had the seizures while he was very young (from 1-3 years old) I now have rely on pictures to try to jog memories of his early years, especially his 'firsts'. I cannot remember his first words, his first steps, or even the terrible two's! But it's a small price to pay for the quality of life I now have, and the memories we're rebuilding together. Terron is turning 11 years old today... wow. Still having a hard time believing he's in grade 6!

Yes, I might be biased, but this kid is something special. He is funny, he's smart, he loves sports, and has a great memory for player statistics (yet, still manages to forget thing I told him less than 5 minutes before...). He's caring, polite and empathetic.

If you don't believe me, here he is giving me my pills the day after I came home from brain surgery.

I know it might be a tough day for him having recently lost his dad, but I will always try to make his days special. It's him and I now.

Terron, I love you more than I will ever be able to express in words. Even with all the hugs and kisses, it could never tell the whole story.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TERRON!!

Next up, this kid of mine will become a triathlete on Saturday with race kit pick up and body marking being done friday night before ice cream birthday cake! Be prepared to see a lot of tri pics in the upcoming posts! :)

We were out practicing transitions on Tuesday night -- I cannot begin to tell you guys how awesome it is to have something else to talk to my kid about... another way to relate to each other. Something that he asks me questions about, something to keep communication open! I'm cherishing this moment...

Conflicts in Training

<--- Firstly, check out the countdown on the left. At this point, I'm not sure who is more excited... me or Terron. More on his triathlon to come!!

My comeback from injury has been as much of a roller-coaster as most other things in my life. Exciting because out of the process of recovery, I became a triathlete, and love the sport, but frustrating due to limitations. Having to start over, again, with some new rules. Some common to running that we should all know by now (10% rule, not increasing speed and distance at the same time, stretching properly, etc), some self-imposed, some suggested by others.

These rules include:

• Running 3 times/week rather than the 5 I was doing
• Not running back to back days
• consistent cross-training --> Non-issue now that I'm doing the tri thing!

It wasn't until after my horrible run during Saturday's triathlon that I really gave much about my running because I was actually feeling great while running in the weeks before. But from the minute I switched from cycling shoes to running shoes, my legs burned. I couldn't get into a stride. It sucked. I walked, a lot.

HM training + Triathlon Training has presented me with an interesting challenge. Well that, and being a mom, and being thankfully employed full-time, and other life stuff that training seems to help me manage a little more clearly.

If it weren't for being selected in the Nike Women's lottery, (ok, and the firemen and Tiffany necklace and the chocolate aid stations and a week-long trip away to San Francisco), I wouldn't be training for a half marathon. It's really the last thing my body and mind needs right now, but the flight has been booked for months, my portion of the house we're renting is already paid, and I've been counting down the days since it was well over 100 sleeps away. It will not be a PR, but a fun event, with friends, in a new city, that yes, I'm looking forward to.

Then came triathlon training. During our tri clinic, Sundays were our rides, followed by a short run. The occasional Tuesday, I'd also go for a short run off the bike, but these short runs would always be dependant on when I last ran. If I was planning a run the day after, or had gone for a run the day before, I stuck firmly to my rule of not running consecutive days. So these short runs off the bike became insignificant while trying to cautiously increase my mileage to train for the half marathon. In other words, I'd opt out of the brick work so I could follow the 'rules', to afford a bit of a longer run on another day.

I'm thinking now that the bricks were not only significant, but important, and without them, made the last leg of the tri very difficult even though it was only 4k. Yesterday I went out for my first run since the triathlon, a feel-great-nothing-hurts-wow-i'm-running-fast-for-me-wish-i-coulda-done-this-saturday-cuz-the-finish-line-would-have-come-a-lot-sooner run!

In an ideal world, I would have recognized this, realized the importance of keeping at least one solid brick workout per week in the schedule, and worked my other solo runs around that.

As there are no more triathlons this season, I can now focus a little more on solo runs to get me to the half marathon while still cycling and swimming, and once it's done, I can re-evaluate my goals, which will very likely lead to more triathlon than distance running. Yes, I've said it.

Now, please rest assured that I'm not beating myself up over anything, it's only my first year of triathlons, I have much to learn, and I'm proud of what I've managed to accomplish. I'm only getting this out there for my own 'speaking out loud', being able to look back on it and possibly to help others or get help from those more experienced.

I had been toying with the idea a while back to seek out a coach. Not because I'm elite, or have the notion that I could be. I'm a realistic person... I have a very good grasp of who I am, and who I'm not. One of Jay's football teammate's girlfriends is a triathlete, and said that her training completely changed when she got a coach. I read a lot of bloggers that have one, and have often wondered... would i possibly get less injured? Could I get better? How much of an impact would following a more personalized plan, having structure and purpose to the workouts have, and having someone that would keep me accountable? Would really thinking about an actual goal and having someone help me towards that be worth it?

I started thinking about this again more in these last few days because of the difficult run during my triathlon, but remember my awesome swim coach from my last post? She mentioned that she also coaches for triathlon! I have no idea about prices, and obviously that will have a large impact on my decision, (especially in light of what's been going on in my world lately), but what do you guys think? Worth the investment even though I'm not a competitive person, and am, what I guess you'd consider a recreational athlete? There are a lot of generic plans out there, yes, but I'm having a really difficult time figuring out which one is best for me, and don't have the experience to start modifying them; clearly my history confirms that.

Discuss :D

cloud 9

Imagine yourself for a moment looking back at your younger years, having never really been "great" at anything specifically, especially physical. Then as an adult, you're kinda forced to do something to replace something you enjoy. You struggle, but stick with it because the alternatives are limited. Imagine that within a year, you're being assessed, and you get an incredible compliment! So, while I'm still up on cloud 9, let me back up a little...

Just over a year ago, I had my first round of stress fractures. I was told to get in the pool and do some water running as part of recovery.

At the time, the gym to which I belonged had a pool which I had never used, so I went out and bought one of those water belts to help keep me afloat. Got into the pool in the shallow end, waist-deep, strapped on the belt, and walked towards the opposite end of the pool, which was just as shallow! Here I was, a grown adult, in water that I can stand in, wearing what could be used as a floatation device... I felt like such a dork. It came off, and I tried swimming a lap instead.

If I could run a half marathon, surely swimming a few laps in a pool would be a piece of cake. Once again, humbled. It didn't last long, I didn't swim much, couldn't get motivated and even found it a bit boring. The winter months also crept in, and I found it difficult to have to bundle up to leave the house, then later leaving the pool, wet hair, in the cold, dark nights. Once I got the ok to cycle, then eventually run, swimming took a back seat.

Another injury during my marathon attempt in May... I was once again told to swim or cycle. Swimming was still difficult, but 50m turned into 100m, and with the help of some music while in the pool, I actually started to enjoy the laps! Soon after, I found and joined the triathlon clinic, skipping the runs until I got the ok. The group swims got me swimming 800 meters consecutively, open water swimming, and 2 triathlons!

Now that the tri season is done to make room for another Canadian winter, some of the other clinic members had expressed interest in continuing to train, and one had stumbled across a Triathlon Swim Class that was being offered. 10 weeks long, starting Sept 21st. Not sure why I waited until last Thursday to register... especially since my residential address is not in the same "town" where this clinic is offered. While I can still register, I'm at the bottom of the list, so if the session fills up, I'm outta luck. Friday I got a call from the pool letting me know that the session was cancelled, having not received enough participants. Bummer, especially since there was a lot of interest when he were discussing it as a group, but whatever, guess I'd just have to keep up with swimming on my own.

Saturday was my Sprint tri, and on our way home from the race, when we stopped for a much-needed coffee, I got another call informing me to ignore the previous day's call about the session being cancelled, it was back on! YAY!

I got there last night, and thankfully saw a few familiar faces. Had to pick my jaw up off the ground listening to our instructor introduce herself. She's a 7-time Ironman, training for Ironman Cozumel on Nov. 30th, and hoping to get into Ironman Kona next year to celebrate her 50th birthday. Amazing. She's also been teaching swimming since I was 7 years old :)

Once in the pool, she has us warm up, to get an idea of what she's working with, followed by a few drills. As we were getting out of the pool and into the hot tub to finish off the evening, she commented that I was very good swimmer and asked if I had even swam competitively! I'm quite sure I thanked her a billion times, while giving her an extremely abbreviated version of the above.

The smile hasn't left my face, and I've been on cloud 9 since... I guess there really is something to say about perseverance and sticking with something even though it doesn't come easy or it may not be your first choice. While I know I have a lot of room for improvement, it's an amazing boost of confidence!

Tonight will be Terron's turn to be on cloud 9. I was given tickets to tonight's pre-season hockey game of Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Pittsburgh Penguins. Next to his dad, Sidney Crosby is his other hero... so he's pretty excited. I'm looking forward to seeing his face light up... he needs and deserves it.

Tri #2, take 2

This should have been my third triathlon, but life (and death) got in the way...

Overheard on the first day of the triathlon clinic way back in June... by a repeat attendee who was already a triathlete: "you'll see the expressions of those around you change when you tell them you're a triathlete, you're respected as an athlete that little bit extra." I didn't believe him until I was over at the in-laws for dinner Saturday night after the race. When asked why I was so quiet, I yawned, had to apologize for getting a few others started with the 'contagious yawns' then explained that we were up at 5:30a... It was Jay's daughter Taylor (she captured all the race day pics for me!) who finished my sentence letting them know I had done a triathlon earlier in the day. The reaction was great, and even Jay commented on the conversation after the fact. :)

Approximately 2 hours in the car, we finally arrived to the race site... the air was cold, but the sun was shining... so far so good. Time to get this started!!

Admittedly, I did get a bit worried when I saw the swim course sign... ummm, was the water that cold that they weren't posting the temp?! Eeek!

Bodymarked... still love this part!

Nothing graceful about putting on a wetsuit. I'm sure it provided a bit of comic relief...

Thankfully I did a warm up in the water with an easy swim, which by the way, was warmer than the air. The water is extremely shallow for about the first few hundred meters, so we'd be starting in the water, about waist-deep. I've never been fond of weedy water. In fact, I hate it. OMFG, the weeds came nearly to the top!! My hands scooped into the weeds with every stroke, feet brushing over them, even got one strung on my face which just seemed to hang there. I also noticed that the lake bottom was very slippery in some spots, almost feeling like being on ice in the water... bizarre. Thankfully I got all the anxiety out before the race start and knew what to expect. I got out of the water, found Jay and Taylor on the beach, and whispered my discoveries to Jay... who of course laughed. Time to get back in to start!

Green swim caps were first to go, then our blue swim caps which included Men 30-39 & Women 30-34. I was a little apprehensive being with this age group of men, so I positioned myself near the back of the pack. I quickly found a bit of a groove without getting trampled. Whether all the weeds had now been mowed down or my mind was just at ease, I didn't even notice them anymore! Check it out! The pic shows proof that I passed at least one swimmer of the previous wave! As with my first tri, my swim was my strongest!

600m 13:01 (in my try-a-tri, the 375m swim took 10:06!?!?! Still trying to figure this one out...) 132/265 2:37/100m

T1 was pretty smooth, wetsuit off, dried my feet, socks on, race belt, sunglasses, Garmin, t-shirt and helmet... 2:32

The bike ride was a 20k out 'n back, with a few gently rolling hills. I played cat 'n mouse with one girl for most of the ride. I know I have room for improvement on the bike, as I'm still pretty tentative. I don't seem to get past my comfortable pace, both during group rides and triathlon.

If pictures could speak, you'd have heard me saying "ok, swim and bike done, no crashes. I've got this... oh sh!t, I have to run!" T2 was 1:13, quick shoe change, race belt with bib from back to front, hat on (lesson learned from the Try-a-Tri after the awful hair in the race pics!)

It still amazes me that without running, I never would have gotten to this point. Running is what provoked this blog, running became a new 'addiction' when I quit smoking. Running became a lot of things, including difficult. My run sucked. I had to stop to adjust the elastic laces already within the first minutes of the run as they were too loose. Within the first kilometre, my shins were on fire... and it wasn't because of speed. haha Had to take short walk breaks often... but even that was uncomfortable. (I have been having some great runs lately, not increasing mileage, or speed... so it's not a matter of 'too much too soon' that I've already learned about the hard way). I haven't been doing many bricks, and think that this was my biggest downfall. **More on this in another post later in the week.**

Finally seeing the finish line... of course I'd smile nearing the end after a run like that!

Overall, I'm very pleased, and thankful that I'm not competitive. I enjoy every minute of it without the pressure. I finished in 1:31:52 13/27 in AG. Sunday morning I woke up feeling great; no soreness, no pain, no air cast, no crutches. Considering my track history with races (running only events) and injuries, there is no better feeling :)

As we were leaving, I saw one of Terron's friends from school who was relaxing before his Kids of Steel triathlon, so I went over to wish him luck!

I would definitely do this event again next year, and wish I lived in a different climate so I could continue training outdoors year round. Anyone looking to adopt my son and I? We come as a package only. ;)

a tribute... although too soon

Some of you may have already seen this posted on facebook, but I thought I'd share it here too.

Terron will be doing his first triathlon on Sept. 26th, the day after his 11th birthday, 3 weeks to the day of his daddy passing away.

He questioned even doing the event the other day, which broke my heart.

I told him to do it and make his dad proud just like he always does, cuz he'll still be watching. Bought a plain white t-shirt, paint tubes, the iron-on paper and found a good pic of the two of them. With his help after school today, his race shirt is ready, and he can't wait to wear it!

Now that that's done, it's time for me to get my stuff ready for my Sprint Tri in the morning!

in a month...

I'll be in San Francisco running the Nike Women's HM! Yay!

Happy Friday :)

emotionally fuelled

My emotions in the last few weeks have been all over the map since the passing of Terron's dad on Sept 5th. Sadness, confusion, frustration, even a little relief. I've had my moments of strength and weakness; I know it's far from over.

I DNS'd what would have been my 2nd triathlon the following day, and didn't exercise at all for about 5 days, focusing my time on Terron and allowing us some time to grieve. I soon realized that I needed my running, swimming and cycling. I needed my routine, and had to rebuild some confidence for Saturday's Sprint Tri.

Just as food fuels our workouts, I've learned that emotion also has a large impact.

• Saturday I did my first 100k ride. I felt stronger than I thought I would despite the tears that streamed down my face. Something about the wind on my face, wide open roads, sun shining brightly that made me very reflective and emotional
• Monday was a short run later at night than I had hoped, in the dark, by myself. Oddly enough, I really enjoyed it.
• Tuesday I had some extra time at lunch, so I headed to the pool. After a warmup, I did a 800m set (Saturday's tri swim will be 600m). Feeling great, I could have kept going!!! I stopped only because of my usual frustrations of circle/lane swimming with people oblivious of the slow/medium/fast lane speeds and not being in the appropriate lanes. I also managed to meet up with the group, greeted with much-needed hugs, for a windy but fast ride.
• Wednesday I dashed out for a much needed escape after some learning about some frustrating news. Came back feeling refreshed and ready to continue the day with a clearer mentality.

Today is a rest day... let's hope I don't get more bad news because I'm really want to feel refreshed for Saturday!

speaking up? speaking out?

I'm shy. No, really. I am. Those of you who actually know me may be snickering right now because yes, I talk a lot, but I'm still shy! I'm a client trainer, so yes, I talk to unfamiliar people all day long. But I do so in the safety of my own home, via phone and internet, sort of anonymously. Like that, I'm brave.

Public speaking? Hate it. Standing in front of a group of people, all eyes on me... red faced, major panic attack. I suck at it.

But I jumped at this opportunity when it was first presented! Voluntarily! No bribery needed!

I've often raved about how lucky I am to have found such a great running group (and an equally awesome triathlon group!). Who would have thought that running would introduce me to a group of 9 amazing and fun women that I am excited to be spending a week with in a house, in San Francisco, equipped with only 2 washrooms :) By the way, the men in the group are awesome too... they are just not coming on the trip with us, only the girls!

The clinic instructor that started them on their 'Learn to Walk' journey had asked if any of us would be interested in being a guest speaker... to talk to her current "Learn to Run" group. Talk about motivation, being part of a group, what drives us each individually, and things learned along the way. When I saw the email request, I immediately thought... hey, that's pretty much what I blog about... shouldn't be a problem.

But wait, there's people there. And I'm talking. And they're listening to me. And they're looking at me. And they're nodding their heads. Laughing as I candidly talk about my history, my journey and transition towards triathlon.

It was over before I knew it; time for them to run, time for us to have coffee! We've been asked to speak to another clinic in the coming weeks... which I already said I'd be happy to be a part of. Guess it's a lot easier and enjoyable to speak to others that share a similar passion, and have common goals & dreams. I feel like such a big girl now! ;)

I hadn't had the chance to run during the day, trying to catch up on being out of the office for the better part of two weeks, including off-site work, a stat holiday and bereavement. Never been very keen on running in the dark, by myself, but I really wanted to get my run in. I drove to the pool where I had planned to swim after a short run, on well-lit, busy streets, without my ipod of course... until I went inside to use the restroom and realized that the pool was closed for maintenance until next week. Boo. Hoping I can get at least one swim in this week ahead of my last triathlon of the season on Saturday!

Why?

I'm often asked "why". Why do I run? Why do I pay for races or events? Why do I wake up so early on weekends instead of sleeping in? Most recently, 'why would you want to ride 100k? And why that to celebrate the anniversary of brain surgery and no more seizures. Are you sure the doctor didn't screw something up?'

My answer is simple. Because I enjoy it and because I can.

Having seizures was life-changing. Suddenly, I couldn't have Terron home with me on my own, couldn't have a bath by myself, and walking across the street was became life-threatening! Yet, I was 22 years old and already a mother, employed full-time.

8 years ago (Sept 12, 2001), scar tissue from my right temporal lobe was removed, changing my life. Running and cycling make me feel free, alive, independent, strong and able. Why not mark the anniversary with a milestone ride?! (my longest ride had been just over 40k... yes, this was a challenge.)

I can and I did.

A friend let me know about this tour, but is doing his on Sept 26, the same day as Terron's triathlon. Still, I was interested in the event, especially the date marking my anniversary. I registered even though I'd be going alone.

Arrived early, trying hard to ignore the last minute self-doubt. Being a tour instead of a race, and never having even been close to the distance, I knew I had to pace myself. It was a day to celebrate, reflect and enjoy.

Climb to start the ride, followed by some rolling hills. First rest stop was somewhere around 30k I think, where I topped up my water, removed my long sleeve shirt as it had warmed up, applied sunscreen (thankfully... see picture below!), and downed a gel. The next 50k before the next rest stop was pretty flat, wide open farmland, with swirling winds. Didn't seem to matter which direction we were going, seemed we always had a headwind. I caught up to a husband and wife, chatted with her for a while until I dropped them.

I had to stop briefly at about 65k to adjust the sock on my right foot. Maybe the double-layer Wright Sock that I've grown to love for running wasn't the wisest choice for cycling, especially for this long of a ride. It felt like it was bunching under my foot. The husband and wife passed me a few minutes later, but asked if I was ok, thumbs up, all was good. Caught back up to them, chatted some more, rough stretch of road, I continued ahead on my own again, finally reaching a rest stop at 81k. Had to text Jay cuz even for me it was a little unbelievable that I had made it that far! I made that rest brief... not wanting to cramp up or stiffen up too much for the last 20k. Enjoyed a locally grown pear, refilled my water bottle once again, munched on a few pretzels I had brought... homestretch!

I thought a lot about how far I've come. Terron's dad was also on my mind a lot as it was a week to the day that he passed away; still have lots of questions, and thought of things I'll never have an answer to.

I had forgotten about the hills at the beginning of the ride, and I guess what comes down must go back up? But after 90k, my legs were struggling to cooperate with the hills. I even had to unclip both shoes while climbing the steepest incline of the day for fear that I would simply topple over sideways. I certainly wasn't moving forward very much, so balancing to stay upright was at a premium. Ugh, I hopped off the bike and walked the last 100 meters of that hill... I did, however, power up the remaining hills to redeem myself.

I rode 100k today! It's a freakin' long way! And some run that far!?! I'm contemplating another tour on the 27th, the last one of the series.

I bought one of the jerseys too

This ride has put me over 1000km of cycling this year, and over 1800km between running, cycling and swimming year to date!

Wonder what I'll do to celebrate 9 years! :D

Any guesses about where my cycling shorts ended!? gotta love the tan lines...