I've been here before...

First of all, thank you to all of you who've stopped by my blog or sent me emails recently to check on me! I'm still around, despite having neglected my blog! Thank you as well for all the amazing comments on the slideshow I posted in my previous post... I cried more than a few times reading them all :)

It's an all too familiar place. Life has had a way of challenging me on many levels, over and over again. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the discovery and growing I've done, so for that I'm thankful.  


As I approach the 10th anniversary of my brain surgery, (and 6 years since I quit smoking), I had really high hopes that this year would be epic. I'd face the marathon again, tackle my first 70.3, and I'd live happily ever after. What? This is my story, I can end it however I want to, no?


Well, everything was great. My long runs were getting long again, the ice and snow were finally starting to melt, my eyelashes were freezing together less often. I got home from an 18 mile run a few weeks ago, happy. It felt like a good run, confidence was increasing. An ice bath, just because. 2 days rest, then out for an 8k, immediately I felt that something was wrong. Calves felt awkward, tight, things hurt... and by the time I got home, I could barely walk. 


The next morning, things were worse. The pain, a grim reminder of my stress fractures, but this time,my right leg. Hobble into the sports clinic the following day, she felt confident that it was muscular, and not a stress fracture, and that I could hopefully try a run in a few days, as long as there's no pain walking.


Today, 3 weeks later, there's still pain... walking. It's a lot better than it was, but of course, I've had to rethink my plans. Having missed too many long runs, I've come to grips with the marathon winning, again. Thankfully, I've learned to set myself up well for disappointment in life. It's a crappy way to think and live... but if the disappointment happens, at least I was prepared for it and it wasn't a surprise, if it doesn't, consider it a bonus.


I'll do the half in Ottawa rather than the full, and fingers are crossed that the 70.3 will be my last big hurrah, here.  Then, I'll working on the 'happily ever after' with a one way ticket for two, to Atlanta!


Have I succeeded in not turning this into a pity-party post? :P  One last note, to all the racers headed to Boston, enjoy your moment, and reward!!

Believe. Inspire. Motivate. Dream.

My journey has forced me to believe. Needed an incredible amount of inspiration. Required motivation, beyond words. Developed my ability to dream.


In response to my post here, about explaining 'our passion' to others around us that might not 'get it', and while cleaning up a pictures folder on my computer, I tapped into my creative side.


You have all helped me believe, are a constant source of motivation and inspiration, and have given me dreams... so consider yourselves included in the thank you.  I heart you all.


I debated about posting this... anywhere. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but realized that the purpose of my blog is to help others believe. Believe in change. Believe in themselves. Maybe inspire someone, and motivate a few. The feedback I got after posting this on Facebook yesterday, was, more than I imagined, to say the least. Let's just say, I needed more than a few kleenexes. So, thank you, as well, for giving me the courage to get this out there.

I just couldn't stand it anymore!

While it's the end of 2010..., I look forward to the new beginning...


Highlights of the past year include:

• first century ride - check
• first Olympic distance triathlon - check
• 3rd place AG finish in a Try-a-tri
• 250,000m milestone in masters swim, with a heartfelt speech from coach, and certificate from Mira
• Employment benefit allotment wasn't completely used up in the first six months of the year... (and I still had some left over!!) No out of pocket expenses for therapy due to injury! (knock on wood, please!)
• Combined mileage goal of 4000k reached! (2917.7k bike, 950.7 run, 238.8 swum)
• I decided to tackle the marathon again after my last attempt, so let's hope that 'take 2' in Ottawa, on May 29th, 2011 will end up differently.
• Melanie vs. 70.3!! Half Iron distance, here I come! Race picked out, Welland on June 26th, 2011, just waiting on registration to open up!

This afternoon, I headed out for my first run of the year. It had been raining all day, and unseasonably mild. I was feeling rather lazy, getting out the door later than I had planned. I convinced myself that an easy 5k would be a good start to the year, and better than nothing at all. While a blank slate can be refreshing, looking at spreadsheet with a 0 in my YTD column didn't feel right. It's been ready to be filled in weeks ago, anxious for 2011 to get here. It was time.

Soon after leaving the house, I was already feeling better. I also noticed people in cars looking at me, probably thinking that I was 'one of those resolutioners'. You know, the ones who commit (don't get me wrong... I hope they also succeed!!!) to making this the year. The year that they lose weight, or start exercising. Little do they know, this has been a part of me for a few years now (and I hope many to come!!). It's my stress relief, my independence, my freedom.  

As the song Today by the Smashing Pumpkins started playing on my iPod, I started singing along as I usually do. "Today, is the greatest, day I've ever known..." Just then, I stepped in a huge puddle, disguised by the darkness of the night... socks soaking wet.  Still, today, the first day of 2011, the beginning of my brand new journey, my first entry into my log was an amazing 10k. I say that makes it a really, really, great day.

As seen on the Multisport Canada's website... Why, yes! YES IT IS!!  What are your goals for this year?

How do you explain it?

Hi, my name is Melanie, and I'm addicted to... (clearly, blogging is not the right answer here, sigh.)  

We've all been called crazy, right? Given a quizzical look when you mention a planned or completed workout? How many times have you been asked, why?

Christmas eve, while helping my best friend clean up after dinner, said "You'd better be eating dessert tonight, especially since I know you're probably up to something crazy again tomorrow anyway. Nothing surprises me anymore." She then finished off by saying "...sometimes, I think you're addicted."

Another time, she has asked if I was becoming obsessive because of the heart attack that Terron's dad suffered... I told her I was "crazy" well before that happened. She nodded in agreement.

Without trying to sound like a sleazy salesperson, I let her know that I'm having fun, and that is of utmost importance, always. I'm challenging myself beyond my wildest dreams, and doing things because I can. I've been on the other side of that fence, not being able to do the simplest of things, because I couldn't. It sucked.  Further, I told her that triathlon, running, swimming, cycling don't define me, but they sure make me a happier person. I let her know that no, I won't win races. I'm not, and won't be paid for any of this, but I am 'compensated' by a much stronger sense of independence, freedom and confidence than I have ever known!  Can you imagine the therapy I'd need if I didn't have this in my life!? 

Do you have people in your world, that are outside of 'our bubble'-- in which we all have common goals and passions, that just "don't get it"? Do you bother taking the time to try to justify it? And if so, does the glazed look in the eye of whom you're talking ever go away?

My 8%

My 8% was my right temporal lobe, removed over 9 years ago. With it, went something irreplaceable.


I've struggled with the fact that many years of my seem to have vanished... been lost, since surgery. I don't remember a lot of my high school years (perhaps a good thing), and sadly, Terron's early years. His first milestones... steps, words, etc. are all left to my own imagination, and pictures. It crushes me.


I recently reunited with an elementary school friend of mine, on Facebook. After moving as a child, about 10 years of lost contact, I got the chance to see her, during the period of time that I was having seizures. Now, another 10 years later, I've even seen pictures of us, and our kids playing together... I might as well be looking at a strangers' pictures, because looking at us doesn't bring back the memories.


Why I'd expect the following to be different, I'm not sure...


Yesterday, I participated in the Etobicoke Masters swim meet, the first of the season. While not as exciting to me as triathlon, or road races, still fun to cheer on the people that I swim with each week, and a good way to see how I'm doing. Much more relaxed this time than last year, being my second meet... or so I thought.


I arrived at the Etobicoke Olympium, a little intimidated. I knew my events though, because I had selected them, so I knew I'd be fine.


Into the water for a quick warm up, trying to get a feel for everything new, I calmed down relatively easily. Over the next few hours, I swam in 6 events, PR'ing in each of my individual swims, and placing in age group!



1st place -- 100m free 1:29.72

2nd place -- 200m free 3:16.93 2nd place -- 400m free 7:02.25 
2nd place -- 50m free 40.08 
3rd place -- Mixed 200m free relay 
3rd place -- Mixed 200m medley relay


Last night, I got a call from one of my very best friends from high school... and quickly told her about my morning.


C: "Where was the meet?"
Me: "Etobicoke Olympium"
C: "Really? We swam there, remember?"
Me: "We did? When? Why?"
C: "For a swim meet, in school. Remember?"
Me: Silence...then "I did a meet in high school? I was on a swim team then? *sigh* No. I don't remember."    Hmmm, wonder if I was any good??


My 8% seems a whole lot bigger somedays...