3892. 3892 days since Sept 11, 2001... the day I had my last seizure as I was being rolled into the operating room for brain surgery.
They're bbbb--aaaaa----ccccc----kkkkkk. *cue tears*
May 8th, I sat on the couch having my morning coffee and breakfast, going through a few work emails. My husband, who happened to be home from work for the week, sat next to me, on the phone. What happened next, I would hear from his mouth, describing the first seizure he's witness me have.
They came with a vengeance too, 11 more over the next 24 hours. He captured one on video, which we sent to my mom, and they're the same as they were back then. Crap.
Immediately after surgery, I started counting. Hours, then days since my last seizure. Soon, it turned into weeks, months, and years! I even made it to a decade since getting what I affectionally named, my Titanium Cranium. During that time, I fought back hard to regain the independence and freedom that the seizures stripped away. It became my past, but the beginning of better things that were happening. I started to run, in part because of my seizures. I then ventured into triathlon, because of running injuries. Cycling alongside vehicles, swimming in a lake, driving to my next race... all things that I really didn't need to give much thought to anymore.
Suddenly, all of that is slipping away, again. I'm scared, devastated and completely frustrated. I feel like my Titanium Cranium came with a 10 year warranty, and that warranty just expired.
I had gotten back into more regular running, with Terron, my 13 year old joining us in training. Somedays, I'd run on my own, to see my husband at work! Can't now... that was on a pretty busy road, too dangerous. I also sat out a 10k recently, that the three of us signed up for -- it would have been our first race as a family. In hindsight, probably a good thing I did too, because I had a seizure while sitting at the finish line waiting for them.
Nothing is making sense. There's no rhyme or reason. I've been making some phone calls to the hospital where I had my surgery, and have located my surgeon who has also moved to the US. I'll be getting checked out soon, likely having to start all over again. Questions, I have many... hopefully answers will quickly follow.
I may need this blog more in the coming months, to vent, and document a journey I thought was over. I will remain positive, and hopeful.
